Scary thought

Firstly, it's been almost 2 months since my last post, so I thought that I would share a thought that I had yesterday afternoon, but first.... some background.

When I was hiking in the Himalayas, we ascended (via jeep) to about 3,630 metres having started at a far lower altitude earlier in the day at Darjeeling.  Now I'm told that a good rule of thumb when ascending is to rest for 1 day for every 1,000 metres you ascend.  At first, I thought this was a load of bollocks, but rather than risk it, I heeded the words of my far wiser 
travel companion  - Vandit.

That night it was a struggle to breathe and sleep and Newman actually thought he was going to have a heart-attack, with chest pains and numbness in his hands.  For my part, I felt extremely light-headed, feint and thought that I was going to pass out.

So I'm taking a shit yesterday, and I was pushing really hard, and suddenly I thought I was back in the Himalayas again, and it wasn't for the pleasant aroma either.  There should be warnings on toilet doors reminding people of the risks of taking a dump, seriously.  They have warnings for pretty much everything else, so why not?!

If there was, I doubt that Elvis would have had such a ghastly demise, and I wouldnt' have been within a few seconds more of gritted and determined exertion of feinting.

Now, I'd call that a triumphant return to blogging, wouldn't you?

London Calling....

As I mentioned in the previous post, it's been almost 600 days since I arrived in London and a lot has taken place in this time, so I thought that I would list - in no particular order - 20 things that I've done (or have happened) since I landed here....

1. I've become engaged,
2. Have been to 15 new countries,
3. I've lost 13 kilograms,
4. I was abducted in Oslo,
5. Attempted to learn Afrikaans,
6. I've been to an NFL game,
7. I've had the mumps,
8. Listened to Joe Dolce's 'Shaddupa your face' 100 times in succession,
9. Caught up with Tucker Max and his mates in a bar in NYC,
10. Went Ice-Fishing with some Latvian natives,
11. Crept closer to 100 games, completing game 98,
12. Have been detained by US border patrol on Canadian/US border,
13. Managed to get photographed with both Chip & Buster Bison,
14. Used an AK-47 in a former Soviet army bunker,
15. Seen Liverpool win the most exciting FA Cup ever in Cardiff,
16. Watched George Bush be driven to the White House,
17. Finally chose a tattoo to get,
18. Was involved in a riot at the opening of Emirates Stadium,
19. Went three months without going on a Bacardi binge,
20. Wrote the worst blog ever.

So there you have it, a very brief insight into my London life over the last 600 or so days....

Riveting stuff, I know....

Counting down...

Have you ever noticed that we live our lives by numbers, or is the inexplicable absence of consciousness towards the notion due purely down to the fact that we simply accept it, and move on?!

Don't worry, I'm not going to go and get all existentialist or start to regurgitate crack-pot theories of conspiracies, I was just articulating my thoughts....

So yeah, counting down.....

I weighed myself this morning and I noticed that I have now dropped down to under 80 kgs, which is the lightest that I've been since I was about 23-24. It's a far cry from the halcyon days after blowing out my knee when I managed to balloon up to 94 kgs, and do a fairly handy impersonation of the Michelin Man in the process. It's not so much the weight that I find interesting, more so the constant scrutiny that I have on the numbers themselves. I need a second opinion (set of scales), because I don't know how I could be 78kgs, but hey, when in Rome.....

Counting down.....

Since booking a trip in March, I've been keeping a daily counter on my whiteboard at work, which I use as much of a reminder of when I'm due to return back to Australia as I do a means to piss off my colleagues and to drive their jealousy. Thing is, given the current work climate and that I'm now engaged, I wont be able to head back to Oz for probably another year, and if that's the case, I'll have been here in the UK for almost three years without a return home.

Counting down.....

Today would have brought me within 40 days....

40 days...

Geelong can blow a season in 40 days....
Lent apparently lasts 40 days....

In essence, it's a short time given that I've now been here in the UK for 592 days - and counting.....

It's all about the counting.......

Not before time.....

It's not like I'd forgotten this place or was averse to throwing a few lines together, but as most people know, the last six or so months has seen a major change in my life, culminating in my recent engagement with the beautiful Linda, who I'm sure you'll hear and see a lot of in the future.

Originally, this blog was a means for me to keep in touch with people, do some writing and generally kill a couple of birds with a single stone, but that seems to have gone by the wayside in recent months as my life has been fairly busy with other things.

Anyway, I'll hopefully get back into the swing of things soon and keep everyone updated as to what's happening over here in London. I've included a picture of Linda and I in Paris (Notre Dame), perhaps that will explain part of my absence...

Let me think about it, write a blog or spend more time hanging out with Lin......

Probing questions...

I'm not a particularly intelligent guy, and any confession about lacking knowledge is hardly going to be a startling revelation to anyone, but that still doesn't dissuade me from continuing my ongoing quest to answer the important questions, and the current crop is as probably as intriguing as the lancing of a cyst, but I'll plough right in, anyway.

*Why do some people insist on keeping the tags on their baseball caps, and why are they predominantly B-people?
*Why does the Transport For London marketing campaign have the last two letters of 'London' in red?
*Did Pete Doherty really get one away with Kate Moss? If so, how?
*Is 'Test Drive My Girlfriend' the most ridiculous 'reality TV' program in history?
*Why do 'reality TV' shows anger me so much?
*If I was to draft Nick Dal Santo into my Fantasty Football Team, would he instantly have a long-term injury like Hadley and Darcy managed within days of me 'drafting' them?
*Does my drafting genetically alter people?
*Does anyone else have any idea about what I'm babbling about?
*How does Ricky Ponting fail to defend 434?
*Who would win a fight out of Pauline Hanson, and the band Hanson?
*How can the Brits be giving me shit about the CommGames when we doubled their medal tally?
*Why do the French riot every other month?
*Why doesn't Hugh Heffner answer my emails?
*Is 'Brokeback Mountain' a bad film to watch with another bloke?

I need to know these things...

I'm going to hell.....

DJD:- "Man, there are a lot of blind people around here. [Wembley]"
CBJ:- "You're right, I saw one this morning actually! But he didn't see me."
DJD:- *Laughing* "Shut up, you can't say that so loud, she [the blind woman] will hear you!"
CBJ:- "It's ok, she wont know who said it!"

Dog'o'rama...

It seems that most - if not all - of my predictions were somewhat incorrect, but there was definitely some success in the evening, even if it was geared around Doc throwing off his Barcelona form and displaying a surpisingly refreshing team mentality!

In the end though, getting out-drank by a Polish girl was not the most stellar of performances, but having been hilariously rejected by some English bird a few hours earlier, it was in perspective. It's kind of like Australia losing the Ashes, bound to happen every now and then, but to be fair, there were mitigating circumstances.

Predictions of tonight...

It's like 930pm and I'm about to head to the best club in London, the Spotted Dog in Willesden Green. This place is renowned as a hot-spot for English and Antipodean talent, and I am making the following predictions about tonight.

*DJD will pick up and shag the type of girl that you need a team of sherpas if you wish to attempt to ascend.
*BTLC is wearing a shirt reminiscent of scouts and/or truck drivers from the US Highway crew. He will Stockholm-up and do some dodgy girl down an alley, and I'm not referring to a street location, type alley.
*Doc will be moody, awaiting for some Iranian to assault him.
*CBJ will get into a random brawl with either a drunken Pom or some Doc-moody-making-Iranian.
*TheShearer will be angry for not being a part of the festivities.

How do you spell 'ominous foreshadowing'?

An update will be given tomorrow as to the outcome of tonight's activities.

Fact!

Back in the saddle...

It's almost the three month anniversary since my last post, and although I was really hoping I could achieve this landmark, the avalanche of emails begging me to start posting was the impetus for this phenomenal return.

I've thrown in a ludicrous picture of me standing in the middle of the Daugava river, in Riga, Latvia. As you can see, not only have I morphed into a cone-head, but I've also mastered the 'ridiculous pose'. It takes a lot of application to be able to perform to that level.