"Football, meat pies, kangaroos and holden cars" There was a time when we Australians had simple tastes, footballers were 'ordinary' people and social justice wasn't necessarily an idyllic concept. My question is this; what's going on with the West Coast Eagles, and why are we suddenly surprised and interested in the events that have recently unfolded, or at least been reported.
In the early 1990's they were all on the juice, but the dominant drug of choice wasn't cocaine or 'Ice', rather performance enhancing drugs - making it absolutely no surprise that Worsfold just happened to be a 'Pharmacist', no doubt the perfect choice to take over the reins a few years later.
These days however, with ridiculous salaries being thrown around to kids in their early 20's, an ability for a Football club to keep any transgressor out of jail and a high society thriving on the illegal debauchery on offer, there's really no other route for these guys to take, is there?
Recently there was a number of surveys completed in London; one which sampled bank notes for traces of Cocaine and another that sampled sewage for traces of said class A narcotic - the results were somewhat staggering, well somewhat staggering if you haven't lived or partied in London. Otherwise, they're probably not particularly startling at all, but anyway....
Over 99% of bank notes have traces of Cocaine and it's estimated that water level traces indicate that over 150,000 lines of Cocaine are consumed every day and that 20% of Londoners freely admit to having taken Cocaine. Now typically there wouldn't necessarily be a link here, but if you've lived here, in South Africa or Perth, you'd see two very prominant links; Cocaine and a shit-load of South Africans. Sure, this may seem a bit far fetched, but have a think about it for a moment; the rise of the Eagles started to coincide with the South African exodus! Am I stark-raving mad? Absolutely!
But if you're earning 100s of thousands of dollars, you only have to work a few hours a week, your employer keep you out of trouble, your union ensure that you're anonymity is kept - even if you do test positive to Class A drugs that would otherwise have every day Joe in court, and there's a three strike policy to preserve 'putting the game into disrepute', tell me you're not going to be lining up the powder and giving the white-stuff a bit of a snort?!
What's more, it's really farcical that Ben Cousins is being used as the figurehead in this 'war on drugs' in the AFL, because it's a pretty well-known fact that he's been a fan of the Bolivian Marching Powder for many years, it's only now - when the Eagles have given up trying to control or censor him - that he's being thrown to the wolves. How come we didn't see him being thrown under the bus as he was winning a Brownlow or leading the Eagles to their 2006 Premiership? Simple stuff really, it's all about business these days and damage control of the product. Too late for Benny now!
I'd hate to think what would happen if they tested sportsmen over here in London, I'm sure that most teams would struggle to field a team, but that is another story entirely!
Two words: Robbie Fowler http://youtube.com/watch?v=czc5vKu5wqg
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Resemblences - those I don't care for!
It’s been awhile since the last entry, but that’s more due to the fact that I’ve been busy, than the fact that I’ve got nothing to say or write about. The reason for me being so busy is quite simple, it’s because of a big fkn stadium and the associated work involved.
One thing that’s quite weird about work at the minute is that because I’m one of the few people that’s actually moved into the stadium, I’m subject to these weird fire alarms and an awkward tendency by the security staff to lock the office toilets very early in the evening – usually around 6PM.
Typically, this by itself wouldn’t perturb me, but for some reason it means that I have to use the disabled toilets, and it’s here where the anomalies start to crop up. Now, we’ve all been into a disabled toilet, but have you been into one in the last year or so? I mean a modern one?!
What the hell is going on in the world of the disabled these days and why do they use toilets that have more gadgets, levers, buttons and pulleys than a space shuttle. Seriously, I struggled to work out how the flush the thing! Is this the sign that I’m getting old or what? I have more troubles operating a toilet than I do modern-day technology.
I’ve also got another beef with Eastern Europeans! Another friend of mine accused me of reminding her of Chandler from ‘Friends’, what’s all that about?! I mean there are many mind-boggling and unexplainable things in the world, but me reminding someone of Chandler?! It couldn’t get any worse than this, right? Surely not, right?
Well it could get worse, it could get a lot worse.
Tuesday night, having a beer with a mate at a local pub, talking to a waitress when some random guy walks over and just stares at me, then points and says “you look like Mr. Bean!”.
If life wasn’t going so well right now, I’d really think that I’d have hit rock bottom, but it is, so it hasn’t.
One thing that’s quite weird about work at the minute is that because I’m one of the few people that’s actually moved into the stadium, I’m subject to these weird fire alarms and an awkward tendency by the security staff to lock the office toilets very early in the evening – usually around 6PM.
Typically, this by itself wouldn’t perturb me, but for some reason it means that I have to use the disabled toilets, and it’s here where the anomalies start to crop up. Now, we’ve all been into a disabled toilet, but have you been into one in the last year or so? I mean a modern one?!
What the hell is going on in the world of the disabled these days and why do they use toilets that have more gadgets, levers, buttons and pulleys than a space shuttle. Seriously, I struggled to work out how the flush the thing! Is this the sign that I’m getting old or what? I have more troubles operating a toilet than I do modern-day technology.
I’ve also got another beef with Eastern Europeans! Another friend of mine accused me of reminding her of Chandler from ‘Friends’, what’s all that about?! I mean there are many mind-boggling and unexplainable things in the world, but me reminding someone of Chandler?! It couldn’t get any worse than this, right? Surely not, right?
Well it could get worse, it could get a lot worse.
Tuesday night, having a beer with a mate at a local pub, talking to a waitress when some random guy walks over and just stares at me, then points and says “you look like Mr. Bean!”.
If life wasn’t going so well right now, I’d really think that I’d have hit rock bottom, but it is, so it hasn’t.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
2007 - The Year of Living Randomly...
Apparently, this year is the year of the Pig, and although I'm not the most innocent individual wandering the streets, I don't believe that I fall into the porker character, and rather than living in the year of the Pig, it's far more fitting to be living in the year of random-ness, because that is far more fitting.
We've only just hit March, so being only two months into the year, we haven't truly reached the pinnacle of our random potential, but in no particular order, 10 random things to date....
We've only just hit March, so being only two months into the year, we haven't truly reached the pinnacle of our random potential, but in no particular order, 10 random things to date....
- A good friend told me I look like Chandler from 'Friends',
- A telemarketer telling me to fuck off,
- Constant dreams in which I'm working as a 'fence' in Central Africa,
- The realisation that very few drunk people know the square root of 225,
- Being mocked by the English after they won One Day cricket
- 'Whip it' --- Devo,
- Dressing as a Venus fly-trap for fancy dress,
- Singing 'It's raining men' whilst running scantily clad, up/down the street,
- Joining a running club,
- Meeting a Mongolian tour guide who takes English tours in Spain.
Random movie - 'Blood Diamond',
Random song - Fill My Little World -- The Feeling
It's going to be a big year, and one incredibly different than what I'd imagine 6 months ago.
May your own random moments bring you random joy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)